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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Facing The Giants of Adoption

We are learning that there are giants along the path to adoption.  The largest one so far has been the financial one, but we are seeing him toppled, little by little. More recently the giant has come in the form of pressure to conform.  Let me explain.

As we have been trying to schedule our home study we were referred to a specific organization in North Carolina.  Our placement agency, as you may know, is in Alabama and cannot do our home study.  I contacted the agency and had a very nice talk with the social worker who would be doing the home study.  She knew our placement agency well, and was excited to help us.  She emailed us some basic information to look over and sign and return.  Wonderful!

Then we received the information.  It all looked very standard, until my wife pointed out a certain paragraph in the client agreement form.  This paragraph included some language specific to discipline in our home.  I won't go into more detail then that, but it was worded in such a way that it made us quite uncomfortable.  Immediately the giant poked his ugly head into the room.  I began to worry. "What if this is the law?  What if we have to sign this in order to adopt?"  These questions and more were swirling around as the giant danced through our living room.

I contacted our placement agency and asked what we should do. I asked if the paragraph was standard and if it was part of the Hague Convention.  They responded that the language in that paragraph was certainly not Hague language and that we should contact the home study agency and ask whether this part of the agreement was mandatory in order for them to do our home study.  I did...it was. In fact, the lady gave me the impression that if I held my ground on my beliefs I would very likely be denied the adoption by Hungary. That giant sure did look taller than before.  I was told that most people just sign the document even if they don't intend to comply.  I call that lying.  I don't believe God would be honored by doing that.  However, if others had done it...maybe this was the accepted practice.  I couldn't see how.  There must be another way.

My wife and I took the matter to the Lord in prayer.  Yesterday, Lifeline contacted me with the information for another placement agency in NC.  This agency is a Christian agency, licensed to do home studies, and is Hague certified.  I called them.  They assured me they had no such clause, and that as a Christian agency, they fully supported our beliefs.  I will withhold the name of the agency for the time being since we still must be formally approved by them before starting the home study process.  I hung up the phone while driving home, rolled down the window, and threw the giant out.  He fit easily out the window, since he was now no more than a midget!

Why am I sharing this?  What if something still goes wrong?  No doubt something will.  There are giants all throughout this land.  As a Christian, I believe the God that loves the orphans and has commanded us to love and take care of them as well, will take care of any giants that happen to show up.  I just wanted to encourage those of you who may be watching our journey, and considering adoption yourself, but are afraid.  Don't be afraid.  Come on in...the water's fine.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers in the months ahead.  Thanks!

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