Another Christmas Closer: A second Christmas letter to our future daughter

Last Christmas I wrote an open letter to our future adopted daughter. (Read it here) Currently, we are enjoying another Christmas, and yet we are still waiting for her to come home.  Our hope and prayer is that she will be with us by next Christmas.  This letter is in honor of all the families who are waiting for their little one to come home.  The pain of waiting, and the agony of another holiday passing without being able to be with them is, at times, overwhelming.  This is what I wish to say to our little Polish girl.

"My dear little girl,

I wrote you a letter last Christmas, with all of the hope that you would be with us by this year.  The months have come and gone, and you are still not home.  In some ways this year is easier, since we have at least learned your name, and seen your picture.  Funny, but the same things that make this year a little easier also make this year infinitely harder to bear.  I can't help but imagine what life will be like with you here.

I know that you are being taken care of, but I wish we were the ones giving you that care.  Truly, the only gift I wished for this Christmas was to have you here.  God has seen fit to postpone that gift; and so we must wait.

I would want you to know that we are doing everything we can to get to you.  We are working extra jobs.  We are begging people for money. We are saving, and dreaming, and preparing.  It won't be long now.  This year our church gave us a new set of luggage for our trip!  I can't wait to use it.

Be well, my little girl, and know that we love you.  I love you.  Soon we will be together.  Perhaps you will be here with us by next Christmas, and then it will be the best Christmas ever!

Love,

Your Dad


If you are an adoptive family who is waiting and missing your child this Christmas, I am praying for you. Our family understands the heartache as the second year passes since we began this process.  I know the wait will be worth it.  

Merry Christmas

Christmas is such a fun time of year, isn't it?! We think about carols, Christmas lights, decorations, cookies, time with family and/or friends, parties, Christmas programs, and so much more. At one time, I would have included snow on my list of "Christmasy" things, but we don't get much of that here.  There is just something about snow falling silently against a backdrop of Christmas lights and carols playing.... Unfortunately, today it is pouring rain. *sigh* Oh well, we still have the Christmas lights on and the carols playing.

A Reason to celebrate

This year as we celebrate Christmas,  the emotions are mixed in our house.  As we sat at the table eating lunch a little while ago, we looked at the clock and determined the time in Poland.  It was about 6:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve there, and we asked the question, "Will (she) be getting any presents this year?"  I don't know.  I do know she is being cared for, and I am grateful for that but still await the day that she will be here with us instead of thousands of miles away. We look forward to sharing all that is special about Christmas with her and the meaning behind the celebration.

Since our last post, we are another step closer to bringing her home.  Our immigration paperwork (I-800A supplement 3) was sent out on December 9th, and we received the immigration notice that says they are processing our request to update it.  This should take two to three weeks, so taking the holiday time into consideration,  we are looking for it to come back by the beginning of January.

We also got all of the documents together and sent in to our agency for our dossier.  Some of them have to be notarized and apostilled before being mailed overseas.  (Apostilling was not a requirement for our dossier to Hungary, but it is a requirement for Poland.)  The only thing we are waiting for to send our documents overseas is our immigration approval, and we can move on to the next step. :D

At the County Courthouse getting Background Checks done for the dossier

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving

Yesterday marked two months since we saw the first videos and photos of our daughter.  Though we were hoping to have it done already, we are still working on the immigration update.  Our home study update has taken longer to finish that we hoped, and it has put us further behind in the projected schedule we had for getting to actually travel.  Though time frames in the adoption world are often fluid, it is frustrating to know that things are taking longer than we thought they would.  In spite of this, we are still very thankful to finally have a name and a face that we can see while we continue to complete the necessary steps to bring her home.

Today was spent with my brother who came in town for a few days, and some friends.  We spent several hours cooking, fellowshipping, and of course, eating.  It was my responsibility to bring desserts and rolls for our get together today: I made the desserts yesterday and Harris Teeter and Walmart made the rolls.  :-)  It has become a tradition in our family to allow each person to choose a pie or dessert that he/she would like.  We ended up with fudge, pumpkin, chocolate, sweet potato, blueberry, and Boston Cream (which is more like  a cake) pies, as well as a cheesecake with strawberry glaze to go on the top.  We still have quite a bit of dessert left, even after sharing it around with the others with whom we had Thanksgiving dinner.  I think I will be having pumpkin pie for breakfast tomorrow.  Mmmm! Before you judge me too harshly, it has to be bettter for me than some of the other things that are sometimes eaten for breakfast - donuts, sugared cereals, Poptarts, and coffee cakes, right?!

Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream...Mmmm!

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!

Home Study Update

It has been a little over a month since we saw our daughter for the first time.  In that time we have been collecting everything we need for our home study update.  A home study update is exactly what it sounds like: anything that has changed since our home study was originally written is updated with the new information.  This could include anything from changing jobs or moving, to something simpler such as updating that we have all become another year older.  :D Other things that are updated include all child abuse clearances, criminal clearances, and general medical health for all members of the family.  Since our original home study, our state has also begun requiring FBI clearances.  We were fingerprinted on Monday at the local police department, and we mailed the fingerprints and the official form that is required to the company that will process it to the FBI.  (We are using a third party company to process our request to the FBI: it is much faster than going directly through them.  A third party can get results for us in about two weeks, but it can take up to four months to get results directly from the FBI.)

We also needed to have a face to face visit with our social worker, which we had today.  It lasted about twenty minutes,  and it was done. Our social worker will rewrite and update our information for us to send in with our immigration paperwork.  We have done this before...just about exactly a year ago.  We received our first immigration approval a few days before Thanksgiving, 2013.  We hope to have our second approval before Thanksgiving this year.  Once our FBI clearances show up (they should be here late next week), we can get our information out to USCIS for approval to adopt from Poland (instead of Hungary like our original paper states).

One round down, a few more to go!  See this post under "When Will We Travel" for more information about what still needs to happen for us to be ready to travel.

This is how we have felt for the last month.  :-)

Orphan Advocate - Lifesong

"Orphan Sunday isn't about charity; it's about the mission of Christ. I pray that every Gospel-transformed congregation will observe Orphan Sunday, calling all Christians to our mandate to image Christ by caring for his little brothers and sisters, the fatherless of the world." -- Dr. Russell Moore, author Adopted for Life

On November 2nd, Christians around the globe will stand together with one goal: to rouse believers with God's call to care for the orphan and what our role is in response.

Does your family, small group or church have plans for Orphan Sunday? There are so many ways that we can honor orphans collectively as the Body of Christ on Orphan Sunday. If you don't have plans or haven't heard of an event near you, here are 4 ways you can engage in this year's Orphan Sunday:

1. Advent for Orphans Calendar -- see explanation below.
2. Orphan's Table -- share a meal eaten by orphans around the world. Gather with family, small group or church for the meal, discussion and prayer.
3. Plan an Orphan Sunday event with a Partnership Package -- easy-to-follow Orphan Sunday event plan, enabling you to partner with an organization to create a simple event!
4. Contact your Regional Orphan Sunday Coordinator with questions, to seek ideas as you plan, or to let them know that you will be holding an event.

Be sure to also check out their other resources which include videos, prayer guides, sermon notes, t-shirts & more! Together, let's stand for the orphan!

To learn more about Orphan Sunday or find an event near you visit OrphanSunday.org.

Get your FREE Advent Calendar & celebrate with purpose! 

See how your family, small group or church can celebrate the anticipate the birth of our Savior in a special way that also shows love to orphans.

Limited supply of Advent for Orphans calendars available! Learn more & order your calendar today at www.lifesongfororphans.org/advent.

(Unofficial) Match!!

Yes! We have an unofficial match for a two year old little girl.  :D  The twist we did not anticipate...she is from Poland, not Hungary.  We are very excited about this and look forward to traveling to Poland to make her a part of our family early next year.  Here are the answers to some common questions we have heard. :)

Poland?!  Why did you not get a referral from Hungary?

Our agency works in four different countries in Eastern Europe.  We got a call from from them a little more than a week ago, September 26th, and with it came the question, "Would you consider switching to the Poland program? We have someone we would like you to consider for your family."  My initial reaction was that people are going to think we. are. crazy. (We really are not. :D ), but that weekend we decided that this is the direction we should go, and on Monday (9/29), we started the ball rolling to bring her home.  There was no pressure from our agency to switch, and had we desired to do so, we could have stayed in the Hungary program.

When will you travel?

Though we are not changing agencies, we are changing to a different program within our agency.  This means paperwork updates to reflect Poland (instead of Hungary) in our home study and immigration paperwork. Then our dossier will be sent to Poland for translation, and we will get an official referral.  One more round of paperwork needs to be sent in to U.S. immigration, and this one is child specific, meaning that we are getting permission to bring our daughter home.  At this point, it will be up to the local judge in Poland to give us a court date, so it will be approximately four to five months before we can travel.  

How can we pray?

1)  You can pray for the preparation and transition time for our family and the daughter we have yet to meet.  Though we are not new parents, we are new to parenting this child.  Please pray for our other  children who are excited about their new sister: pray that all four children will bond together quickly as a family.  We hope to complete this part of the process soon, but it is the beginning, not the end of this journey.

2)  Please pray for as little delay as possible with all the paperwork.  We are working on getting all of our paperwork updated (The home-study and immigration approval has an expiration date.  Even if we had stayed in the Hungary program, we would have to have these updates done early in the new year.) and would like to get it overseas as soon as possible.


Feel free to ask any questions that we have not answered, but please be aware that there is some information that, for privacy reasons, we will politely decline to answer.

Watching videos of their soon-to-be-sister for the first time!  Do you think they are excited?

A Little Piece of News

Just a brief update...

We did get news on August 20th that we are now first in line for our catagory.  This means that the next girl that becomes available who fits the criteria (based on Hungary's requirements and our home study) needed for our family, will become a potential referral for us.  Our social worker feels that we will probably hear something by the end of the year.  We know that this is not a guarantee, but it has been nice to have this information. :-)

For those who are not familiar with Hungarian history (and we are still learning), I think it is neat that we got this news on a Hungarian holiday.  See here for more information about St. Stephen's Day - from what I have read, it is like our 4th of July for the Hungarian people.

Still Here

I have not kept up with the blog this summer as was my intention, but we are still here. :) Let me start by saying that there is nothing new to share right now with the adoption.  We are still waiting for a referral but know that in His time, it will come.

A brief "catch you up"....

Hurricane Arthur blew through our area on July 3rd (with very little damage, mostly lots of rain and wind), and we were so glad it was gone by the 4th.  We spent a good portion of Independence Day at home before heading to the home of friends for dinner.  We did go see some local fireworks - this is the first year that we actually went to the park where they are shot off.  We normally watch them from our backyard (a pretty good view), but the kiddos wanted to see them up closer this year, so off we went. We did enjoy the time there but were definitely ready for bed that night.

On July 15th, we began our school year again.  We did start earlier than we normally do but plan to take several days off later this month when we would usually be in school.  The ability to take time off when it works the best for our family is definitely a homeschool perk! :D We will be out of town next week and have family scheduled to come for several days at various times throughout the latter part of August.  Having already been in school for almost a month, we are ready for some time out and look forward to time spent with family.

                                     

                                           Flag being blown around during the wind and rain of Hurricane Arthur 

We have seen a lot of rain like this in the last few weeks.  June was mostly sunny, but July made up for it with days in a row of wet weather.  We have finally seen the sun for a while today - the first time in the last five days.  Here are a few recent photos.

Happy Birthday America!

Fireworks

Orphan Advocate - Lifesong

Several months ago, I signed up to be a  Lifesong Blogger.  This means that once a month, I receive an email with an adoption related post (HTML format) that I can post on the blog to share ideas, resources, and information regarding orphans around the world with you.  It is left up to me to decide if I want to share the post they send me or not and until now, I have not done anything with the posts I have received. From time to time, I will share one of these with you though probably not every month - we'll see. :D  Anyway, I will title and tag each of these posts "Orphan Advocate".  Each time you see that title, you will know that the information given is not an update about our adoption but is information about how you can pray for or be involved in orphan care around the world.  Following is this month's orphan advocate post.

Adoption is a journey. 

Like any journey, it's appropriate to think ahead, to plan and to prepare for what is come. Along the way we'll realize that it isn't all what we may have thought or expected. There are unplanned events and struggles, along with unexpected joys and surprises.

Join us as we walk down a few different paths of the adoption journey and discuss some key resources as you look ahead in preparation of bringing a child into your forever family.

Many of you may have already walked this journey. Some of seen friends or close family struggle through the path. Maybe you are just starting to "pack your bag" for your first adoption. No matter the traveler or the progress, here are a few helpful tidbits for anyone who is considering adoption (for the first, second or third time!).

3 Ways to Prepare for the Journey...

1. Pray. Fast. Read. Most importantly, seek God's direction and plan for your family. Spend significant time praying, fasting and reading His Word together for guidance, wisdom and peace. God does not call everyone to adopt, but He may be calling your family to be involved in caring for the orphan in some way. Sit and listen to the Father, He will prepare your feet for the path He has for you (Psalm 18:33).
2. Educate Yourself (With Trusted Materials). With some of the best Christian material on adoption, Empowered to Connect provides books, videos, trainings and other resources to help foster and adoptive families parent children from hard places. Prepare and receive realistic expectations ahead of time by reading books like The Connected Child or attending an Empowered to Connect Conference.  See resources & upcoming Empowered to Connect Conferences >>
3. Take a Pre-Adoption Assessment. Striving to make the adoption process less complicated and overwhelming, our friends at Loving Shepherd Ministries have helped guide over 6,000 couples in their early stages of adoption. Through their Adoption Assessment Form, their staff gives your family adoption options you are eligible to pursue, along with lists of agencies, home study providers in your area and more! Best yet, they offer this as a free service to prospective adoptive families. Learn more & fill out their Adoption Assessment Form today >>

There is wisdom in preparation, but don't forget to keep in mind that we have a Father who knows the beginning and the end. An Almighty God who is writing and arranging your family's story behind the scenes. When things don't make sense, wait on Him. His way is always best!

Summer

Summer is in full swing! We are loving being out of school, enjoying the warmer weather, spending more time outside, planting and tending our little garden, and did I mention being out of school?!  As I type, you can hear the typical (for our area) summer sound of thunder in the distance.  It is common for us to get a thunderstorm or two at least once a week.

A few weeks ago, I spoke with our social worker just to touch base.  We have been asked if the unrest in Ukraine has caused a problem with adoptions in other parts of Europe and have been assured that things are still moving forward in Hungary.  The Hungarian program is still going strong and there are not any causes for concern regarding that program at this point.  There are families recieving referrals and traveling to get their child(ren), and we look forward to our turn. 

 Though I may have mentioned it before, many countries keep a "waiting child" list, meaning that the children on that list are available for adoption and can be matched with families looking to adopt from their country.  Hungary does not keep a waiting child list: instead, we have a facilitaor whose job it is to search through the files of adoptable children in that country, keep up with new children who become available for adoption, and match them with families.  Please continue to pray for God's timing for our referral, for safety and protection for our child during this time, wisdom for George, our overseas facilitator, as he works on behalf of the children, our family, and other families seeking to adopt from the country of Hungary, and the coming transition (whenever that is) time for our family.

Mark and I are actively working on our Crossings training which helps us to prepare for the coming changes in our family.  If you are thinking about adoption or are currently in the adoption process, I encourage you to look into it.

Tomorrow is  Flag Day. Though this day has not ever been a big celebration for us, I do love our flag and the nation it represents. We look forward to teaching our new child about it. You can read some poetry about our flag here. (Disclaimer:  Linking to these sites does not mean that I endorse everything on these sites. )  

Spring

It is hard to believe that tomorrow begins the month of May!  We only have eight more school days!!!! We are all excited and ready for the longer summer break.  

We are still waiting for a referral.  Though we knew it would be unusual, we really hoped to already have a referral by now.  As much as we wanted to be ready to go shortly after school is out, we have learned some patience and are ok with knowing that it will be mid to late summer or later before it happens.

We will be taking the last of our required (adoption) training in the next few weeks.  This is does not have to be done until 'sometime' before travel, but we are going to complete it soon-one less thing to worry about when we are actively making travel plans. We are also using this waiting time to get helpful information from others who have already completed their adoptions. We very much appreciate the willingness of the families who have been open with us about their adoptions, freely answering the many questions we have asked, and giving us suggestions and advice that will be needed in the months ahead. 

Spring is has sprung out in full force here.  Here are a few photos from our area.  Enjoy!

Spring Break!

It has been several weeks since we posted an update.  Our laptop kicked the bucket a few weeks ago, so finding a way to post an update with photos on a mobile device has been a challenge. :)

 We are praying, working, and saving towards the day when we get the phone call to tell us that we have been matched with our daughter and begin our travel preparations.  Three of us have passports and we have sent in the applications for the other two, so we hope to have everyone's passport in hand very soon.  You can read about our current prayer requests here.

This past week has been Spring Break for us, so we took a short trip to Kentucky and went to the  Creation Museum.  (For those who don't know, admission for children, ages 12 and under is free in 2014! Tickets are also good for two consecutive days.) It was a fun visit, and we had a great time with the dinosaurs! Can't you tell? :D

While We Wait

The last month or so has been seemingly slow progress on the adoption.  I say "seemingly" because once our dossier was sent overseas, we were back to the waiting game.  There are others working overseas on our paperwork so we can get a referral and be matched with a child.

While we wait, we have enjoyed the snow our area has seen.  Snow is not an every year occurrence here (this was the second snow we have seen this year), so we have had great fun with it.  I say snow...really in the following photos, it is about two inches of ice and a dusting of snow that shut everything down for three days, but we made a "sled" from an old wheelbarrow and pulled it with a mountain bike.  The kiddos had a wonderful time, but daddy was worn out: it is a lot of work to pull them like that!

 We saw snow for a third time this year a couple nights ago, but it melted by the end of the day.  The winter isn't over yet, so maybe there will be more to come!

While we wait, will you pray with us about some things?  I know that many of you have been/are praying about the financial aspect of this, but here are three additional specific requests that we have at this time:

1)  Please pray that God will prepare us and our child(ren) for the transition time that is coming for us and the child(ren) who will be joining our family - a family she has never met before now. She is will be leaving all 

that is familiar and asked to embrace everything that is unfamiliar.  Please pray for protection for our child while she waits for us to come and get her.

2)  Please pray that we will know when we are matched with the child(ren) that is to be a part of our family. We do have the ability to say "no" if we feel that a proposed referral will not work, but we do not want to have to say no to anyone: please pray specifically that the first child(ren) that are brought to our attention will be the ones we are to add to our family.

3)  Please pray for God's timing regarding our travel dates.  For several reasons, it is our desire to have travel dates (leave for our six week stay in Hungary) between May 1st and June 9th.  Will you pray with us that God will allow us to travel in that time frame?  

Thanks for walking with us while we wait.

Final Puzzle Update

We have completed our puzzle!!! Thanks to Becky, Dell and Tara, and Families Outreach, we were able to put the rest of the pieces together.  :)  A $500 grant from Families Outreach this week allowed us to meet and even exceed our goal.  Thank you, thank you , thank you again to everyone who donated funds in the last two months to help Cole and became a piece of our adoption puzzle.  We will get some puzzle saver in the next few days so we can hang it up!

Organizing All Those Papers!

While we are once again in one of the many waiting phases of the adoption process, I thought I would share how I am keeping track of all the papers that come with adoption.  As those who are "there" or have been through adoption know that the application you fill out to get a placement agency is just the beginning of what has been accurately referred to as the paper pregnancy.  If, like us, you have a placement agency that is not licensed in your state for the home study (well, they are now, so Yay! for those who will come after us but not so helpful for us :D ), there is the paperwork for your placement agency, your home study agency, grant applications (which can be a ton if you fill this out for several places), dossier paperwork, referral papers, and of course, all that goes into the final adoption before, during, and after travel.  Add to that what is needed to obtain Social Security cards after the adoption, birth certificates, and the re-adoption process and by the end of the whole  process, you begin to feel like you need a signature stamp and new fingers, hands, and wrists because yours are so exhausted from staying in the same position for hours to get it all done.  Most of this cannot be done via computer, so it is done by hand.

Early in this process, I made a notebook to keep track of everything in one place.  The only adoption information that is not kept there is our final home study and anything we held on to for our dossier that is certified (marriage license, birth certificates). We keep these things locked up and put away for safe keeping.
I took a regular 1-1/2" (maybe 2") notebook, printed a few things from the internet regarding the country we are adopting from, and inserted them into the side, front, and back of the notebook.  The front of the notebook actually has a paper with Hungary's information on it from our placement agency.  Since I do not have permission to use their photos/information, I substituted the map photo (below, right) to give you an idea what could go on your notebook.  The back photo is the Hungarian calendar year and includes the names and dates of this years holiday celebrations in Hungary.

 

  

The inside of our adoption notebook has tabs for each part of the adoption that we have either already completed or are in the middle of going through now.  I will add more tabs as we progress or need another place for specific information. I thought I had it set up in alphabetical order until I began taking photos of it.  Ha ha!  It is not alphabetized, but that is a good idea too. :)

 Each section has a tab

 Following is a brief explanation for each tab.  I use page protectors for each section and often keep more than one page of information in each page protector.  For example, if there are ten pages that are all about the same thing in one section, I use one page protector for all those pages and pull it out if I need to look at it.  It saves space in the notebook, while still keeping everything together, and saves money (for all those page protectors).

The first tab has information for CAS, our home-study agency. It includes their fee sheet, contact information with name, address, email address, etc. and any other papers they game us.  

 The second tab is our dossier information.  This included the list of things I needed to gather for our dossier and this is where I put each piece of information or form as I collected it.  When we got ready to send our dossier to Lifeline, everything I needed was in one place, and I gathered it all up and put it in the envelope to mail.  

The third tab is for Lifeline, our placement agency.  This is the same as the CAS tab, except is has all fees and information we have been given for Lifeline.  Since our dossier went to Lifeline, it could have been included with Lifeline's information, but it was just easier for me to make a separate tab for that.

The fourth tab is exactly what it sounds like. In it I keep any information I need regarding past or current fundraisers for this adoption.  One of our fundraisers was written up in a local paper, so I have a copy of the newspaper in a sheet protector in that tab.

 2013 and 2014 have different page protectors

The fifth tab is used to collect receipts for adoption related expenses to be used for tax purposes after the adoption is completed.  As seen below, one page protector is being used for 2013 receipts and a second one is set up for 2014.  We hope to not have one for 2015. :D

The sixth tab contains Grant Application information.  When I come across an application/site from where we can apply for a grant, I print the application and file it there until we can get it filled out and mailed.  We sent out a half a dozen applications last fall, and I have a few more applications that are printed and waiting to be filled out.  In my opinion, it saves time to do one thing at a time.  Focus for a few days (hours, weeks, etc.) on finding grants that you can apply for, then print and/or save the application(s) in one place, and then spend the time filling them out all at once.  I keep a sticky note on applications that have specific deadlines for getting an application out, and I also have one or two right now that have a note on them stating that they cannot be sent out until we have a referral.  This saves me from looking that up every time I see the application because I already know when I can mail it.

The seventh (and last, so far) tab USCIS information we received in it.  Our fingerprinting appointment notices are kept in there and anything else we may receive before the completed adoption will go there.  We do not keep our official immigration approval here.  It is kept with our original home study in a safer place than a notebook on a baking rack. :)

I hope this idea will help you keep track of everything.  If you have another idea to add, please comment so that others can benefit from it too!

Exciting News

This is our first post in 2014, and I am excited to begin the year with some great news!  We have been approved for an adoption grant from Show Hope. 

 I was in our church kitchen this morning with some of the other ladies from our church, cleaning things up and reorganizing, when Mark came running into the room and just pointed to a dollar amount on the page.  We have been awarded  $7000!!!!  This will go a long way towards the next big fee we have coming up - the $12,500  due before travel and is a true answer to prayer.  Thank you again to everyone who has prayed and is praying, for we believe that your prayers are making a difference!  God has been so good to us and is even providing for some of our upcoming needs before they are due! With the exception of a few hundred dollars, all of the money we are earning or raising right now for adoption expenses is going to cover overseas expenses.  (You can see a list of some of these fees on our ways you can help page.) We are very grateful to the donors at Show Hope who are investing in the life the child we have yet to meet.  We are also grateful for all the information provided to us by Show Hope regarding parenting and understanding the child that will soon be joining our family (this was given to us for just applying through them and was not at all related to receiving a grant).


And a dossier update...

The facilitator for Hungary was out of town over the holidays and is back now, so our dossier was to be sent out this past week to him for translation.  We will keep you posted on how this progresses!